Bren and I, after careful consideration, have begun the house hunt here in Florida. Well here is the deal... We ALWAYS come back to Florida. We have regular work here as actors with many theaters that we have good, long-standing relationships with, we love the community, we have many friends here, the weather is consistently gorgeous. What else could you ask for? As you can imagine, we are looking for something unique with personality. We looked at an Eco-House last week built by an old hippie with lots of land surrounding it- garden, outdoor shower, boat launch across the street, dead-end street but the house was just a little too weird even for my taste. Just not feng shui, if you know what I mean. This past Sunday we made an appointment to see a charming little house with a pool and lanai. We arrive to a chorus of barking dogs. No joke. Let me just give you the highlights: old dog piss on newspapers on floor in living room, 9 (that we saw) cats in various places around the house, at least 7 dogs (at quick glance as I was trying to avert my eyes) in a couple kennels in back room and the overpowering smell of shit out back where the realtor told us would be "the perfect place for a table and chairs." I can't make this up....We passed on that property.
So yesterday, I went for my follow up blood work from my Birthday doc appointment. When I arrived home, Bren was outside enjoying the glorious river. After fixing us a little lunch and working our scripts, I heard Bren say my name. My full name. Which never happens. "RACHEL!" I look out by the seawall and discover he has a look of horror on his face. "There is something floating in the water." ??? I look over and there is a -- what I can only describe as a mass of flesh colored tissue with black hair. "Is that hair? I think that is hair?" We call the Sheriff. I have images of crime tape and CSI sunglass wearing detectives covering the property. I will miss my appointment tonight because I will be detained for questioning. They will separate us and when they find out how liberal I am I might be in trouble...My mind races. Two very sweet young Sheriffs arrive at our home and walk around to the dock. One very casually walks over to the head in question. He pulls the brush back and without hesitation reveals that our gift from the river is a wild hog head. His partner joins him and explains how this probably happened. After talking for awhile about various things and a mysterious boat, they tell us of a lady who is living on the beach on Beautiful Island just across the river from us. Curiouser and curiouser. I head off to my appointment here I sit watching a puppet show with a variety of characters all created from George Bush puppets. The theme for the evening is honesty and lies. Yep. All true. Is there somehow a connection here?